“Four Dead in Ohio….”

The first ever Surfing on Mars pool.

For those who do not recognize that photo — and shame on you — google Kent State. For those who do recognize the photo, I offer you a wonderful opportunity!

Announcing the first ever Surfing on Mars substack pool.

As Chancellor Trumpf sends in the National Guard to crack down on cooks and cleaners and waiters and busboys and garment workers and day laborers and landscapers, Surfing on Mars offers a chance to capitalize on the beastly cruelty of our own obese Fuhrer and his Minister of Propaganda, Stephen “Little Joe G” Miller, here in 1933 Amerika,

Whoever guesses the date that the National Guard first opens fire on peaceful protestors wins The Grand Prize.

Whoever comes closest to guessing the exact number of dead, wins the First Runner Up Prize.

Grand Consolation Prizes will be awarded in the category of Name the Caliber of the Round that kills or maims the peaceful protestors and Distance From Which the Deadly Shots are Fired.

A fun game for everyone. Get the kids involved.

Prizes to be announced and awarded at the sole discretion of the Editorial Board of Surfing on Mars. All disputes will be submitted to two justices of the Unites States Supreme Court, to wit, Samuel “Bribe me!” Alito, and Clarence “Bought and Paid For” Thomas.